Before being married, I was given some advice by an acquaintance. He said to me, "Your wife ain't gotta know everything". This may most definitely work for his marriage, but as for mine, WRONG!! I am convinced that most marriages are lacking the happiness and joy that they should have and ultimately end up in failure because of the lack of TRUTH! Both men and women keep feelings and thoughts from each other in an attempt to shield the feelings of their mate. This type of thinking will always lead down a road that could be avoided if the truth was and ALWAYS is spoken in LOVE!
1.The TRUTH is the Foundation: In John 14:6, Jesus lets us know that He is the way, the TRUTH, and the life. In John 8:44, Jesus tells us who you belong to when there is no truth present in you. These two scriptures alone let me know that if my marriage isn't built on honesty and truth, it's built on lies and deceit...and if it's built on lies and deceit, then it will most definitely end up dying. In my personal opinion, keeping secrets is just as bad as lying. When that secret is revealed, it will produce the same results that telling a lie would yield...anger and a lack of trust. In order to build your marriage on the ROCK, you must build your marriage on the TRUTH!
2.Truth=Maturity: Ephesians 4:15 lets us know that we will not attain complete maturity until we can speak the TRUTH in LOVE. 1 Corinthians 13 lets us know that LOVE bears all things...meaning that if I'm in LOVE, I should be able to share whatever is on my heart, and the LOVE we have will be able to bear it. I can't say that I have a mature relationship if I can't share what I feel and think with my mate, even if I know that what I may say may hurt them or offend them.
3. The Truth leads to freedom!: The bible reveals to us in John 8:32 that "we will know the truth and the truth will set us free!" I wasn't able to have true intimacy with my wife until I was completely honest about things I had hid, things I was scared to share, and things that I felt would rub her the wrong way. These thoughts and feelings that lay deep inside caused me to be in bondage. Being in bondage caused my relationship to be in bondage. Once I let her in, she was able to heal a lot of hurt places, and in turn that caused our relationship to blossom. If the truth isn't released, it will eventually destroy whatever foundation you've created and in turn cause your relationship and marriage to crumble. If you release the truth, you release the chains!
I'll close this with something the Lord shared with me today: If there is no truth, there can be no love. If there is no love, there can be no friendship. If there is no friendship, there can be no relationship. The first step to having a strong healthy relationship is the TRUTH!!
I'm first! Nice post brother. It will be interesting watching your growth in marriage through your blog. Not telling everything to your spouse is out of response to a fear of the repercussions of that truth. When you know your partner has unconditional love for you, you don't fear being transparent. As the lack of trust In your relationship drminshes so does transparency. I think you'll find that in your first few
ReplyDeleteyears of marriage that your relationship will grow or
die, it doesnt stay stagnant. Many times the truth and transparency comes easy in the beginning, the test is having the courage to maintain it when the relationship hits rocky times.
Proud of you man,