Ready To Call it Quits? Encouragement For Newlyweds

Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, my Help and my God. —Psalm 42:5

Marriage is the most challenging experience I have ever had in my life, and may ever have. Now, don't get me wrong. I love being married, and I am crazy about my Husband, really. I have never been more motivated in all my life to go after the fullness God has for me. I have a wonderfully compassionate and patient Husband. Still, this is no dating game. I can't check out, hang up, storm out, break up then make up when things get rough. The rose-colored goggles are gone and we both get tired. Making a vow to God at the altar to love, honor, and cherish someone and to honor that commitment until death, is not the same as saying, "I love you and I want to spend my life with you". Becoming one is an art to be mastered, and we are beginners picking the strings out of tune while our fingers become raw and callused.

When I made the vow to commit to the commitment, and step over that threshold, it was like agreeing to let God place a full-sized mirror in front of my life and point out my weaknesses. My character, my behaviors, my beliefs, my self-image, and everything in-between, stared me right in the face. Every choice I make and step I take directly affect the person I have yoked myself to. What I didn't deal with prior to binding myself to my spouse will (not "might") drag him down.  Working through those things takes time and work, and can cost us our marriage if they aren't dealt with (ideally before tying the knot). Like most new couples, we're tempted to throw in the towel at times, take the bench, or just forfeit altogether...throw up our hands and say, it doesn't seem like this is going to work. Oh, if only the Devil could get me to believe that! He'd be one broken family closer to convincing the world to turn their backs on God, family, and marriage, and one woman closer to giving up on herself.

But what do I do when I'm stressed and burnt out from the hard work of learning this new song and dance, and my partner's toes hurt too from me stepping on them...and he/she can't offer me encouragement?

Hope in God, and wait patiently for Him. Praise Him for being my help and my God, for exposing my vulnerabilities, and making me stronger. I  try to look harder at myself and God's word, and try to get them to line up. When we put our hope fully on him He renews our strength. At times I feel numb, or like I'm on cruise control. But those are the days right after I've felt drained enough to quit, but called on God to keep me going, and he lifts me up! It is easy to allow the enemy to convince me that the days, weeks, and months of draining work won’t pay off, and I should give up. But, I hope and believe in a God that sees far beyond my level of understanding. He sees broken strings, pitchy notes, callused hearts, as music to his ears. He knows the end before the beginning.

So, when my soul is weary or the outlook is bleak, I just wait on Him and keep praising God for loving me enough to not let me live a mediocre life anymore. I thank Him for giving me the challenge, responsibility, and blessing of being a wife to such an amazing man.