Growing Up and Becoming Friends: A Newlywed's Testimony

I once read somewhere that Marriage is a crucible in which we learn how to love and become more Christ-like. It's the place in which we find out what we're made of. Every day I am learning how very true that is in my own marriage. My husband and I tied the knot last June and after we said “I do” and returned from the honeymoon it became quite apparent that I wasn't the person I thought I was going to be in marriage. Before we were married I viewed (or even prided) myself as someone who was extremely selfless, loving, kind, patient, compassionate, giving, etc, etc, etc. And once the rubber met the road I felt like the Lord was holding a mirror up in front of me and for the first time I was seeing this other side of me. It wasn't that I wasn't loving or kind but at times I had a tendency to be self-seeking and completely oblivious to my husband's needs. “Oh my, I'm selfish? That can't be right.” I thought, “I serve in my church, I pay my tithes and I...” I, I, I and I. Again, it was all about me but the thing I love about my husband is that he has never rubbed any of this in my face. In fact all he did was love me through this self realization.

"Up Under" Each Other? Why Your Friends Come Last Now That You're Married

After the joy and fascination with getting married, the blissful honeymoon, and taking photos,there is a curveball that is thrown at newlywed couples that few "words of wisdom" at the wedding reception address. I'm talking about the first few weeks and months of marriage, and the adjustment stage.

"Wow! We're married, can you believe it?!" begins to turn into "wow. we're married. How on earth are we going to do this?" This new unique challenge isn't just about moving in together and figuring out where we will fit all of our clothes now, or who will clean the toilets. After the bliss of the honeymoon subsided for us, we found that the idea of "cleaving" to one another can be a very different and uncomfortable situation for two very different people, with two different ways of doing things, from two different walks of life. The joy of having a companion to wake up to everyday can quickly begin to feel isolating, and even at times annoying, as you get to know one another and learn to work through conflict.